If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.
are you satan
Me and my friends when we’re out
This speaks to me on a deep and profound level
i have this friend, his name’s jamal, and when we were younger, he was obsessed with pokemon, and pretended he was a pokemon trainer. one time we saw this stray cat, and he pretended it was a pokemon, and tried to catch it, and somehow he actually managed to get a hold of it. his family’s had it ever since
now we call him “got a cat” jamal
im gonna lose more weight and get tattooed and be super hot soon just you wait
my parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly
they really need to bring back the show kids say the darndest things cause my coworker was just telling me how her 3 year old daughters 2 favorite comebacks are “nah mommy im not about that life” and “my belly button says no to that”
Wow, thanks old coworker for telling me about your prostate problems while I’m eating dinner. No, no, that’s perfectly polite break room conversation.
People often give the best advice when they can follow up with “I know that sounds hard, but it’s possible!” and don’t need to follow it themselves.
"I’ve always been proud of my sense of style….One of my general mantras in life is: Dress for the party.”
Darren Rainbow Criss
my problem with writing stories is that i’d rather imagine it and play it out in my mind than actually put it into words
“You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories, and we made the funny choice.”